In the build up to your wedding, you would think that this is the time that everyone bands together, becoming one unit, geared towards helping you get ready for your big day. Isn’t that the role of the wedding party, to reduce the stress for the bride? You will find that the exact opposite happens. Trying to organise your party will be like trying to herd cats, and that elopement to Vegas suddenly seems like the most obvious solution in the world.
I’m sure it’s different for everybody, I have actually spoken to women who said they enjoyed planning their wedding (really?!), but here are a few of my observations from the last couple of weeks. And by observations, I mean things that really grind my gears!
Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.
These will become your most hated words, EVER! Because what this really means is, ‘ask me to do something and I will do a half-assed attempt that will mostly involve you babysitting me through the whole operation and wondering why you didn’t just do it yourself anyway’.
Suddenly everyone is a teenager.
People who manage to organise their own lives every day of the week, will suddenly lose the ability to use Google, book a room, read a map or formulate a plan. It’s like they are trying to break you. And it’s not just the guests, it’s the venue staff and wedding suppliers too. NOBODY will be able to make a decision without you.
People will think you have all the time in the world.
The fact that you are desperately trying to keep your ducks in a row and your sinking ship at least heading towards the mainland will completely escape people’s attention. They think you can do it all! The fact you don’t have one free day between now and the wedding date because you’re either in work, or attending last minute appointments, or desperately trying to organise the wedding supplier, wedding venue, and the whole wedding party is irrelevant.
Message to friends of bride-2-be’s everywhere: Unless you have an exact date, time, venue, and menu available (because when living on meal replacement shakes one can’t just eat anything anywhere, anymore), just don’t bother contacting her!
You can’t trust anyone’s opinion.
People will say yes to anything. I don’t know if it’s because they are scared that you will turn into Bridezilla if they don’t, or if it’s because they totally just don’t care either way, but you won’t get any sense out of anyone.
‘Do you like this style?’
‘Oh, I thought it would be better like this’
Yes, I agree.
‘Is the menu OK?’
‘Oh, I thought it would be better if we changed the vegetables’.
Yes, that would probably be better.
So bride 2 be’s, here’s some advice… just do what you want to do, when you want to do it, and don’t stop to consider if this is OK with everyone else, because the answer is yes anyway.